Real Estate and the Bitch.

I want to tell you a story. I want to remember it just as it was told to me. Be prepared for this one. It hits a lot harder for me because I know my mother a lot better than you do of course.

Let me start by painting an image of my mother. Have you ever watched Leave it to Beaver? My mom IS Joan Cleaver. She doesn't vacuum in heels, but she is the absolute embodiment of the television mother. She is ideal. She was a stay at home mom when my brother and I were kids. She bakes, cooks, cleans, she has pampered us well. She has been a realtor for several years now. My mother is the nicest, most well mannered woman I have ever met. She has no enemies at all.

Here is how it starts:

My mother is one of two top agents in her small real estate office. My mom was at a company awards banquet a couple days ago. There are two offices that were in attendance. The main office down at the beach, where the big wigs are, and her satellite office. My mom's broker, the head of the office, was standing in front of all the attendees delivering a speech. She was speaking of an outstanding employee who was about to receive the big award. Everyone at both offices knew that my mother was the honoree being spoken of. In this beautiful breakfast banquet room, something goes wrong. I want to say her name so bad, but I have to change it for obvious reasons. Let's call her "Nancy". Nancy, who has shared an office with my mom for a couple years is sitting at the same table as my mom. As this speech is going on, Nancy says "The only reason she's getting the award is because she kisses Kim's ass." Kim is the broker who was giving the speech. My mom and her coworker sitting next to her immediately turn, look at Nancy, and respond, "What did you just say?". My mom somehow takes the award, and gracefully navigates the dangerous social situation, keeping up appearances the entire time. She even hugs Nancy when Nancy congratulates her on her success after receiving the other award for being the second honoree. And SCENE.

The next day, my mother asks her broker Kim if she could send her a copy of the speech she read, since my mother missed out on hearing it because of the situation with Nancy at their table. Kim was obviously upset that the event had happened. She said she had spoken mostly from the top of her head. Mom and Kim are great friends as well, mind you. Kim said she would type an e-mail and write as much as she could remember of what she said at the banquet.

My mom had came home and told my brother how upset she was about Nancy's behavior. My mom is very sensitive, although she never would lead you to believe so. My brother doesn't take any shit. I've had situations come up over the hears where he has definitely taken care of some business for me on his own accord. He doesn't like people treating our family in any sort of negative way.

Without her knowing, my brother had his own agenda lined up from the second he realized how upset this had made her. My brother drove up to the office and ran into Kim before he could figure out who Nancy was. He talked to Kim and told her that he wanted to talk to Nancy because she had upset his mom and Nancy owed my mother an apology. Kim told my brother that she would take care of it and that she would talk to Nancy and make sure that my mom got her apology.

Chad leaves the office. Nancy walks past him. Kim calls Nancy into Kim's office. Nancy asks who that was that just left Kim's office. Kim informs Nancy that it was Linda's son, and that he was there to talk to her. Kim told Nancy that she needed to call my mother or catch her in the office and tell her she was sorry.

Instead of giving a phone call, which really isn't an acceptable apology if you ask me, Nancy sends an e-mail. She starts by saying, "I'm sorry you can't take a joke." She twists her words around to her advantage, saying that she meant it another way. She closes the e-mail by saying "Next time you have a problem with me you don't have to send your son to kick my ass."

When my mom told me this when I came home from work today, my blood boiled just listening to this bullshit.

HERE is how it goes down. My mother is a strong Christian. She decided to go into the office today (she doesn't go in every day) to get her emotions off her chest. She was going to explain to Nancy why she was wrong and how it made her feel, but she was also going to FORGIVE HER. I have to force myself to breathe as I write this because I'm getting pissed off now. My mom gets to the office. Nina was on her way. My mom had the receptionist call her 1) to find out if she was coming in, and 2) to tell Nancy that she had an important fax waiting for her [true story]. My mom went into their shared office and waited. Nancy came in, wide eyed at the sight of my mother standing at her (mom's, not Nancy's) desk. Nancy came in, no smile, no words. She quickly put her stuff down.

"I need to talk to you, Nancy."

"No, we don't need to talk. I'm very busy and have a lot to do today."

"Yes we do."

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"Alright, well go to the bathroom, we'll talk when you get back."

Nancy was in the bathroom for a long time. I don't know if she was hoping my mom would leave. I don't know if she was calling to whine to her husband about what was going on. When she came back, my mom was still waiting patiently.

"No, I don't want to listen to you. I don't have to listen to you. KIM!"

Nancy was calling for Kim, who knew that my mom was there to talk to Nancy.

My mom closed the door and stood in front of it.

"I don't want to talk to you and you can't hold me hostage in this office. KIM!" Nancy kept on, "I don't have to listen to you! I don't want to talk to you!" Nancy went to reach around my mom for the door handle. My mom pushed her hand back away from the door.

Nancy pulled her arm behind her back. Her face displayed horror. "Don't you touch me! Don't you touch me! I don't have to listen to you!"

My mom opened the door for Nancy. It was obvious that she was talking to a brick wall.

"Alright, then go on, GIT!" She talked to her as if she were an animal. My mom was getting irritated that she wasn't even given a chance to express herself.

Helpful things to keep in mind about "Nancy.":

1. She is foreign, from a small eastern European country.

2. She is married to a military man

3. She has no family in the area

4. She's damn lucky if she has friends

5. She curses, smokes, and carries herself around the office like she owns it

6. People in the office constantly tip-toe around Nancy so they don't make her mad

Somehow, Kim becomes involved. An argument ensues and the three of them, Kim, Linda, Nancy, end up outside. Nancy continues to pop off at the mouth. She doesn't feel as if she has done anything wrong. She brings up that fact that my mother sent Chad to threaten her. My mom says she knew nothing about it. Nancy said he was there to beat her up. Mom says he wouldn't have touched her. Kim becomes infuriated upon learning about the e-mail Nancy sent. They go at it. The three are raising their voices. My mother and Kim are literally attacking Nancy with their words. They fall on deaf ears.

It's gray here. I'm missing a link. My mom spoke what she needed to while she was outside. She was able to say what she wanted to, but Nancy wasn't accepting it at all. My mom comes inside and sits at her desk to cool off. She was furious. Kim comes inside next to see if my mom is okay. Kim steps into her office to cool down as well. Kim returns to my mother's office and tells her that the president of the company is on her way from the main office. Nancy doesn't know this. My mom waits. Forty minutes later, the president arrives. Nancy was in a the computer room. The president goes to the restroom nearby, passing Nancy. Nancy says "Oh, urgent business today?"

"Yes."

Bathroom interlude, and madame president is back. Nancy starts to put things together. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead. Madame president, who I will refer to from here on as MP, notifies the three women that they are all going to have a discussion. Obviously the only person in danger is NANCY.

Nancy pleads to talk to MP before they are all called into the office. MP declines her offer. Once Nancy realizes she's in for it, she quickly blurts out, "Well I just need to tell you that I have a meeting with another broker and I'll be leaving." MP tells her she has to talk with everyone. She (Nance) shoots off question after question, trying to slow the process of entering the office. Kim, Linda (mom), and MP all sit. Nance stands. They start at it again. MP keeps her cool and handles the situation well. She become equally angry when she learns about Nance's poor e-mail apology attempt and tells her that if she thinks that is an acceptable apology, she "needs to read some books." MP reams Nancy in and out. She really ripped her a new one and cut her down to size. It is unbelievable to imagine what it must have been like in that room. There was so much tension, anger, and amidst all this, Nancy really believes she has done nothing wrong. She makes excuse after excuse. She brings up Chad, and tries to twist her words again. MP saw right through her.

She got fired.

They told her ass to leave.

She said she had to be out by end of the weekend.

Lady N said she was going out of town.

MP told her that the receptionist and Kim would pack her things for her.

She had it coming.

The entire office just swarmed. MP took mom and Kim out for lunch on the company. I forgot to mention that when MP came to the office, she immediately hugged my mom and apologized that she had to go through what she went through. The receptionist left before MP even got there. She knew the shit was about to hit the fan, and took her lunch early in order to avoid being splattered with Nancy's fecal matter. I tell you what though, Kim's blood pressure was through the roof. Everyone was ready for a drink. I turned nearly ten shades of red just LISTENING to this story when I came home from work. My sweet Christian mother, going into the office to forgive a woman for insulting her. Not only was she insulted, but my mother was also slapped in the face by an 'apology e-mail' if that is what you would even call it. To recap, the becomes angry when she isn't able to talk. She has words outside with Kim. The company president comes to the rescue. Nancy still denies everything and lies, lies, and lies to the president. Nancy loses her job.

AMAZING. I feel bad for my mom. I want to kick that woman's ass so bad. Nobody messes with my mom. She wouldn't hurt a fly. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people think this about their mothers, and I don't want to discount that, but if you ever met my mother, you'd see Joan Cleaver. It's just a shame that such a little issue was blown up so big because Nancy couldn't listen, or apologize. The whole office silently rejoiced today. Everyone heaved a giant sigh of relief. The marlboro-smoking foreign bitch was done.

I'm really proud of my mom for standing up for herself and her feelings. She's never confrontational. From what I hear, she really kept her composure well and was even complimented by MP for handling herself extremely well. Kim, my mom, and MP went out to lunch on the company. They tried real hard not to talk about it, but of course it did come up in conversation. The whole ordeal was pretty traumatic. Everyone needed a drink by the end of the day....

Speaking of everyone, it's after 10:00pm, and I'm ready for that drink. Live in Hampton, it's FRIDAY NIGHT!