Dental Sadism

I had my six month cleaning today. It had been put off and put off. Canceled and rescheduled twice. I finally just had to bite the bullet and cancel my lunch date today since my mom said she wasn't going to reschedule it again.

Firstly, I was terrified that I would arrive on time (because I only arrive early to scheduled appointments). I had ordered a Blackberry online (the fuckers at T-Mobile wanted an unGodly amount of money for the thing), and I paid online using my PayPal account. Well, I wasn't really paying attention and I paid through my bank account that I never use. I had to drive out to the bank as quickly as I could, make the deposit so the transaction wouldn't be rejected, and then haul myself as fast as I could to my dentist's office.

I arrived ten minutes early. I flew threw the glass door and immediately to the sign in sheet, like a moth to a flame. The women at the counter greeted me by name (which I never have been able to understand seeing as they see me twice in twelve months' time). I guess I'm just one of those unforgettable gay men. Women want to have their own gay. All of them do. I have a small collection of these women, and they are so good to me. But that is neither here nor there, and also a subject I could go into great depth about but have not the time today.

I sat down in the waiting room and was called back ten minutes after my scheduled time. I was not only called back late, but I was also called back by a woman I had never seen before. It wasn't my diva tooth goddess that I am used to. This was a husky middle aged woman whose name started with a T but I can't remember it now. I walked past my normal girl (Danielle- I'm crossing my fingers, and I'm 95% sure that's her name). She looked up, caught my eye from behind her mask and safety glasses as she was sitting and polishing an elderly man's teeth. As I walked past, she hollered out, "What's that about!?"

She was obviously as disgruntled as I was. I didn't want to go see Ms. T any more than she didn't want to SEE me going to sit for this T woman.

"I need you to give me your cell phone number again. I lost it. I tried to call you once and I realized I lost it," Danielle said from behind the barrier cabinet-wall.

I got started with T. She took that metal device that they use to scrape away plaque and she started her mutiliation attempt. She scraped and poked, and sometimes I wondered if she wasn't purposefully bumping into my gums with that needle sharp object. She finally finished with the scraping. She did the quickest, and lousiest, polish job I've ever had, and then she flossed. When I say she flossed, I mean, she was digging for gold using nothing but a piece of waxed string and the strength of her gloved hands. She was digging for oil in my gums. I winced and pulled myself further and further into the chair. My fingernails were practically shredding the leather arms on the chair while this was happening. I swear, this was the most sadistic woman in the office. You could just tell. She really didn't care. She didn't offer me those super cool space age goggles to shield my eyes from the blinding dental light, and she didn't even wear them herself. I wasn't even able to enjoy the simple pleasure of watching her whole "act" through the reflection of those safety goggles my dental tech normally wears.

I took the free damn toothbrush from her at the end and left. I gave Danielle my number and said goodbye to the ladies at the front. It was NOT fun.

My mouth still hurts, and when I try real hard, I think I can still taste the blood, no matter how much she made me rinse. I'm surprised I don't need a transfusion at this point. It wasn't really that gory, but it would NOT have gone down like that if Danielle was taking care of me.

Ok, I have a chemistry exam shortly and I need to cram.