Reading over my entry from last night, I find myself slightly embarrassed. I can't help but turn red in the face. At the moment, my thoughts seems entirely too clear. They poured out of my head and onto this screen. Writing has become a beautiful form of release for me. I find it relieving. By reading my own thoughts on paper, or a screen in this case, I think of it like a sort of online, self-given therapy. It makes it easier to sort through tangled thoughts, and unwind the twisted phone cords in my head.
I don't think I ruin my life. There are a lot of beautiful things in my life, and I have made huge leaps and bounds. I have made many accomplishments along the way. I have been molded by my friends, my family, and my moral code based on my religious beliefs.
I honestly don't drink half as much as everyone would like to believe. I never drink by myself. I only drink with friends. I am very careful. Last night I was at home, so I had no boundaries other than to be able to walk to my bedroom. I got there fine. I had time to write a lucid entry (even though the backspace key was used more than any other key on the entire keyboard), and I slept great.
I think I surround myself with friends and 'things' to keep me from thinking too much. I think too much, and I overanalyze everything. I have high expectations. When you have high expectations, unfortunately you are left to deal with many disappointments. It's how you recover from those disappointments that makes you who you are. I think I handle mine pretty well since I have experienced enough.
I'm fine. I'm okay. Today is a brand new day filled with new hope. Another day to add to my celibacy streak. I used to count. I stopped now. I wonder what it must be like for nuns and monks. I think about The Sound of Music. Was she even a nun still when she was with the VonTrapp man? If she was, how would that work? I mean, I would hope that she'd at least use a contraceptive. They had enough damn kids already. Would the VonTrapp man blow that naval whistle at her in the bedroom? "CHANGE POSITIONS!" haha, "HALF TIME!"
"ALL HANDS ON DECK!"
Ah, Frauline Maria. How do you hold a moon beam in your hand?
I don't think I ruin my life. There are a lot of beautiful things in my life, and I have made huge leaps and bounds. I have made many accomplishments along the way. I have been molded by my friends, my family, and my moral code based on my religious beliefs.
I honestly don't drink half as much as everyone would like to believe. I never drink by myself. I only drink with friends. I am very careful. Last night I was at home, so I had no boundaries other than to be able to walk to my bedroom. I got there fine. I had time to write a lucid entry (even though the backspace key was used more than any other key on the entire keyboard), and I slept great.
I think I surround myself with friends and 'things' to keep me from thinking too much. I think too much, and I overanalyze everything. I have high expectations. When you have high expectations, unfortunately you are left to deal with many disappointments. It's how you recover from those disappointments that makes you who you are. I think I handle mine pretty well since I have experienced enough.
I'm fine. I'm okay. Today is a brand new day filled with new hope. Another day to add to my celibacy streak. I used to count. I stopped now. I wonder what it must be like for nuns and monks. I think about The Sound of Music. Was she even a nun still when she was with the VonTrapp man? If she was, how would that work? I mean, I would hope that she'd at least use a contraceptive. They had enough damn kids already. Would the VonTrapp man blow that naval whistle at her in the bedroom? "CHANGE POSITIONS!" haha, "HALF TIME!"
"ALL HANDS ON DECK!"
Ah, Frauline Maria. How do you hold a moon beam in your hand?
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